I'm never taking you shopping again
by SebastianJR
Summary: I can't decide season for this one. Dean takes Castiel to the grocery store - big mistake. Warnings: Contains spanking of an adult.. angel, I guess. If you find this upsetting, please, skip this story!


**Author's Note: **This idea just popped up in my head yesterday, and this is the outcome. Muhaha. Castiel is basically powerless in this fic.  
Thanks to Ficwriterjet for the grammatical/spelling corrections of the story!

**Rating:** PG - 13

**Disclaimer: **I don't own these characters and I don't make any sort of money from this. Even if I wish I did.

**Warnings:** Minor swearing and of course, spanking.

"Cas, what did I tell you about personal space?" Dean said after he'd turned around, his face only a few inches from Castiel's.

With most of his powers gone, the angel was constantly on his heel, even more than before. He wasn't accustomed to practically be a mere mortal and he was using Dean as a How To Be Human 101, studying his every move to try and duplicate it.

"Oh, my apologies," he took a step back quickly to please the other man, "I'm yet to fully understand the appropriate distance between two men talking."

"It's alright."

Dean meant it, too. He actually didn't mind having a confused angel virtually glued to him, it was something oddly endearing about the whole situation.

"Anyway, I need to go grocery shopping. Want to come?" he continued and picked up his worn-out leather jacket, slipping into it in one practiced, smooth movement.

"Grocery shopping?" asked Cas, his head tilted. His blue eyes sparkled curiously in wonderment. "Please, do explain, what exactly are we to.. shop?"

"Uh, well, you know - bread, cheese, the usual. We go to the store and buy whatever we need, like food, and bring it back here."

"Oh."

The angel still didn't seem to completely understand and Dean hid a small smile as he lead them to the Impala. He would just have to teach him more about it in the shop.

###

"What is this?"

"That's laundry detergent," Dean sighed, it was the seventh inquire about an item he'd answered since they arrived and his patience was running out. "You use it to wash your clothes."

"Dean, what is this?" Cas repeated only moments laters, "It looks odd."

"Cas, seriously, if you keep asking me those stupid questions about every friggin' object in here, I'm gonna make you go and wait in the car!"

Dean had intended to educate Castiel a bit about grocery shopping, but this was only annoying. He knew the dark-haired man was curious about humans and their way of living, but it was getting ridiculous.

The angel knitted his eyebrows together and he put the pineapple down with some resistance. He _really _wanted to know what that was and what you used it for. But then again, he didn't want to have to sit in the Impala all by himself. Dean was making this so hard.

"Don't you dare sulk like some toddler either," Dean warned as he threw a bag of bread down in the basket, "you were getting on my nerves."

The other man huffed, clearly not happy with the situation. How was he supposed to learn about being a human if he wasn't allowed to ask anything?

He looked around, spinning his head to notice every little thing as he observed the various products on the shelves. He obediently followed the quiet hunter, resisting that weird urge to bring down his feet more forcefully to annonce his annoyance as he went. Stomping, Castiel believed it was called. Dean had called it childish when he'd done it before, and he didn't like to be called a child. It made him indignant.

The blonde felt a headache start to creep up as he tried to keep an eye on Cas who was nver still for more than a freaking second - he was literally all over the place and it was a huge challenge to get him to stay close and not wander off.

So he wasn't really surprised when he failed to stop the other male from snatching a can of corn to look closer at the pictured label. Unfortunately it was playing a supportive part of the structure in the setup of an impressive tower, and the surprised angel cringed when it collapsed and canned corn rained down over him, then rolled in every direction possible.

"CAS!" Dean bellowed, "What the hell are you doing?"

A stressed worker arrived, staring in disbelief at Castiel and the mess revolving him. Dean shook his head and covered his eyes with one hand; this was quite embarrasing. The angel stood motionless in the ruins of tins, frowning worringly.

"I am sorry."

"It's okay, sir!" the guy said, faking a smile. _Always be polite to the customers. _"I'll just.. build it back up."

Dean sighed heavily and got up to his friend, grabbing the back of his collar on the coat to drag him away from the scene. Cas all but stumbled behind him, trying to keep his feet under him, when they suddenly stopped.

"You go and sit in the car," Dean ordered sternly and fished the keys from his pocket, "I obviously can't shop in peace with you around."

"No. Please, let me stay with you. I do not want to be sent to the car in solitude. I'm sorry for the cans."

The pleading look in those crystal blue eyes of his softened Dean's anger and after a moment, he let his shoulder slump in defeat. Why did everyone in his life have a serious case of puppy-eyes and why couldn't he resist any of them?

".. Alright. But keep your hands away from exactly_ everything_, understood?"

"Yes, Dean."

Some time later, the hunter was still grumbling sourly about having to babysit an overgrown four-year-old, but a silent part of him thought it was kinda cute. Cas was pretty innocent without his frightening powers.

"Hey, Casti.." he trailed off as he turned around. The angel wasn't there.

"Goddammit," Dean muttered under his breath when he realized he couldn't see him anywhere around either, "I'm never bringing him shopping again._ Ever_."

_Or I'll get one of those kid-leashes for parents_. _That ought to fix the problem. _

Dean became slightly frantic after he had done a quick walk through the gigantic grocery store without finding Castiel. He should have choosen a smaller shop.

"Cas!" he called angrily, almost jogging down the endless aisles. God knows what that angel could get into!

Meanwhile, Castiel was strolling around, seemingly untroubled by the total lack of company. He was too busy ignoring the order he'd been given, poking funny-looking objects, scrutinizing the behavioural patterns of his fellow shoppers, and basically being utterly fascinated with the whole process.

_Oh, that is interesting_, he thought as he came to an halt in a particular department with Pick & Mix-candy. He thought it looked beautiful, the spectrum of colours enthralling him. Was it some kind of art?

A little kid stood there, temporarily unguarded, staring at the pieces of sweets with desire. When he thought the coast was clear, he lifted a lid and snuck himself a couple lollipops to put in his pocket and quickly moved on to the chocolate. The angel blinked in confusion when the child threw a piece into his mouth, sliding it around on his tongue cheerfully.

Castiel was now too curious to refrain himself from walking up to the young boy.

"Is it edible?"

The tiny human flinched as he thought he'd been caught, but visibly relaxed when the adult obviously wasn't mad at him. "Yeah. It's candy. You never had candy before, sir?"

"None," the angel admitted, looking down at his new found friend.

"You poor guy!" the boy gasped in sympathy, then looked thoughtful. "You should try some, but you hav'ta make sure no one's watching. If they catch you, you will be in a lot of trouble."

"Why?"

"You ain't supposed to eat it from the shelves, mister. But we do it anyway!"

"Victor, get over here now!" a female shouted, giving Cas a suspicious look. She didn't trust strange men in trench coats, especially not when they talked to unknown children. "We are leaving."

"Good luck," the small human whispered and hurried away to his mother.

He stared at their retriting backs for a while, before turning his gaze to the candy again as he pondered the boy's words. He did not want to get into trouble again, but the temptation and curiousity were too great to dismiss. Besides, he just had to avoid getting caught.

Similar to the kid, he glanced both directions before reaching out for the chocolate. The look of sheer enjoyment the boy had held while eating it must have meant it was really nice.

And it was. Castiel's eyes widened when he felt the chocolate melt on his tongue, leaving the sweetest taste he'd ever experienced - it completely astonished him.

"Remarkable," he mumbled as he took another bite of the substance.

Soon the angel found himself shoveling chocolate into his mouth, he couldn't get enough of it. All of his senses wrapped around the sweetness, craving and eager.

"What do you think you're doing, sir?"

Cas froze with one hand in the container of those wonderful, brown parts of Heaven and the other in the process of wiping left-overs from his face, his heart drumming fast against his chest.

"Uh.." he started, not willing to confess his sin.

"You better come with me," the guard said, amusement badly hidden in his voice.

"Why?"

"You just got caught stealing, mister. Usually, the thiefs are between seven and sixteen and we just force them to call their parents to come and pick them up, but I think you're a tad too old for that. Let's go to my office and solve this, shall we?"

###

Castiel couldn't for the life of him understand why he was guided into a small room to sit and talk with a man in a uniform. He wished Dean was there to fix everything.

"I did not mean to be troublesome," Cas said to the guard, "the, uhm.. The candy, it was delicious and I could not control my desire for more. Forgive me."

The red-haired man on the other side of the desk gave him a funny look.

"I am here with a friend to shop," he continued nervously. "Bread, cheese, the usual."

He realized he still didn't know what 'the usual' meant with some displeasure, Dean never explained that in closer detail.

At the same time, Dean stood at the checkout and asked the cashier to send out a message through the speakers. He was fuming by now, sweat breaking out on his skin, and he was planning different creative ways of killing the damn angel.

"Of course I can," the girl smiled. If Dean wasn't so pissed, he might have noted the obvious flirting, but he just wanted to see Castiel at the moment.

"_CUSTOMER MESSAGE; CAN _CASTIEL_ COME TO CASHIER ONE, PLEASE? YOUR FRIEND IS WAITING FOR YOU._"

There was some rattling in the speakers before Dean's voice rang through the store, "_AND YOU BETTER_ _COME HERE RIGHT__** NOW**__!_"

The anger in his tone was enough to make Cas flinch - that child was right, he was in a lot of trouble.

"That was my friend Dean," he informed the guard quickly, hopeful, "he wants to see me!"

The human snorted, "You don't say. I'm gonna go fetch him. I do wonder what he has to say about the chocolate-incident."

_So that's what it's called. Chocolate_. Castiel carefully stored the word in his vocabulary for future use, then licked his lips as he started to fidget.

He was torn, because he wanted Dean to solve this whole ordeal, but he didn't want to face the enraged guy.

It didn't take long for the guard to spot the weird guy's friend. He was staring impatiently into the shop, tense and visibly irritated as his eyes scanned the area for the lost man.

"Excuse me, sir. Yes, hi, I got your friend in my office."

Dean let out a sigh of relief before he raised his eyebrows. "Wait - why is he in your office?"

"Let me explain on the way there."

When the other man had finished his story, Dean didn't know if he should laugh, cry or kick the angel's ass for being such an idiot. It was just so surreal.

When he stepped into the room, Castiel could not gather enough courage to look directly at him, but it wasn't needed. He could feel the glare burning upon his skin. If he'd had enough powers left, he would teleport himself away from there - far, far away.

"Dean, I'm-"

"Do me a favor and shut up for a while, Cas."

Suddenly, a woman joined them, every fiber in her very being demanding respect as she greeted the uniformed man with a nod. She then turned to stare at Castiel, who immediatly wanted to sink further down in the chair in shame. It was something about her look that made him feel stupid.

"My name is Amelia Berglund, I'm the manager of this grocery store," the woman introduced herself, "I'm here to sort out this little... situation."

Dean grimaced, even he felt a bit threatened by the authoritative boss, but he didn't really mind. She was obviously a tough lady, his favourite kind of the opposite gender. To his chagrin, Amelia just watched his charming smile with icecold eyes and it slowly faded away before she started to speak with a firm expression.

Cas didn't dare to say anything while the others negotiated, not that anyone wanted his opinion anyway. He was just the crazy person. Somehow, they seemed to come to an agreement. Castiel was not allowed into the grocery store for four months, he was going to pay for all the chocolate he'd consumed and a smaller fine for his crime.

"Thank you for your time, ma'am," Dean said as they stood up, shaking hands.

"I expect him out of here within minutes," she replied coldly and left.

"Such a sweetheart," he muttered before he turned the attention to his nervous friend, "You're lucky they believed you were crazy. Come on, we gotta get you out of here."

###

Dean unlocked the Impala with a growl, mentioning for him to get in. The silence between them rapidly became unbearable as they drove away from the parking lot and out on the road.

"Dean, I'm truly sorry," Cas said softly as he noticed the hunter grit his teeth, but Dean put up a hushing finger.

"No, Cas. You behaved like a spoiled brat today, like a friggin'_ child_," he ranted, then stopped himself and frowned slightly. "Yes, exactly like a kid."

"What are you doing?"

Dean had without warning turned the car around. "I'm looking for that road we just passed."

"What? Are we not going home?" Cas wondered, feeling slightly concerned now, "You do not need to search for another way back, I wish to use the same one. Anything else is purely unnessecery."

There was no response.

Ten minutes later, they were parked on the side of a seemingly deserted road, deep into the forrest. Dean got out of the car, while Cas wairly watched him, not moving an inch from the seat as the man walked with determination to his side and yanked the door open.

"Dean?"

Castiel felt himself getting dragged outside with a surprising amount of force and he was in a state of confusion when Dean sat down on the hood of his beloved Impala, only to pull the angel over one of his thighs with the other foot planted securely on the ground.

Castiel tried get back up when his overcoat was swept to one side, but found it to be impossible as the hunter had him pinned down with a heavy arm wrapped around his waist. With only a tiny portion of his powers left, Cas wasn't at all stronger than Dean.

"I do not understand this," he gasped as the first swat come chrashing down on his denim-clad backside, followed by a harder one. "Why are you striking me?"

"You behave like a child and I'll treat you one," Dean replied. "This is a punishment."

"You are punishing me?"

"Yes. You caused a real mess back there. What if they had called in the cops? We can't attract attention, Cas."

The angel grunted. He didn't like this at all; it was starting to smart a little back there.

"And the chocolate - dude, what was that about? You went all crazy over some freaking _chocolate_? Well, I hope it was worth it. Next time, ask me to** buy **it for you!"

Dean wasn't merciful; he drove his hand down fast and hard to make a point. Cas shifted his hips a bit as the pain grew, wondering how he ended up in this position. It was certaintly not comfortable, but his minor powers did protect him some at least.

Like he somehow sensed this, the blonde reached beneath him and undid the jeans, tugging them down to start smacking the seat of his underwear.

Cas' eyes widened in surprise, but he didn't protest. If Dean felt obligated to do this, he probably was. He crinkled his nose when he felt the heat increase slightly and his abilities instinctively tried to heal him, making him somewhat dizzy of the effort.

"Stop using your powers, Castiel," Dean growled, "or else we might spend quite some time like this. I can keep going for the rest of the day, you know."

He shook his head - if he did as told, it would hurt too much. Dean scowled in disapproval of the angel's choice and raised his hand further up in the air, but it seemed like the more strength he laid behind his swing, the more the man over his leg fought to heal himself.

_This isn't working_, he thought in annoyance. Glancing down, he saw Cas' belt in the loops of his trousers. _That will do. _

Quickly, Dean leaned over and snapped it out before he wrapped it around his hand, leaving a stripe of leather free. His friend looked over his shoulder in curiousity, and a look of shock flashed over his face as Dean swung the belt down for the first time.

"Ah!" he exclaimed, wriggling as a line of fire appeared across his rear.

The pain was much greater, more intense and it became rapidly harder to overpower it. Lash after lash was brought upon him and he caught himself making involuntary movements and sounds, but no matter how much he tried, he couldn't help himself.

The belt won. Cas surrendered to the pain, couldn't fight it anymore, he didn't have any power left to do so. He grunted, but Dean didn't stop until he let out a hitched breath.

"We're almost done here," he said gently, "just ten more."

The first blow was so forceful, it almost caused Castiel to leap up from his friend's knee. He stared at himself in the black paint, his blue eyes glittering of unshed tears, and he grimaced at the sting.

After the fifth, Cas finally let the tears roll down his face and they fell from his jawline to splash against the hood of the Impala.

Biting his lip, he squeezed his arms between the car and himself to keep from reaching back.

The angel shook his head violently as the strokes kept on falling, it burned so bad. But he knew why he was being punished. He deserved this for being so careless. He had indeed behaved poorly for his own entertainment.

It didn't make the fire in his backside much easier to handle though.

_No more_, he wanted to say, but he couldn't utter a word. The only sounds he could make was painfilled yelps and gasps.

"We're finished, Cas," Dean suddenly said, rubbing small, soothing circels on his back.

Castiel let out a loud sigh of relief, wiping his face on his arm before straightening himself upright again. The throbbing ache was awful, but managable, he decided after a moment.

"I am sorry you needed to reprimand me," he said honestly, looking at Dean.

The scruffy hunter smirked and laid a warm hand around his neck to awkwarldy pull him into a quick hug. "Me too. All forgiven and forgotten now, okay?"

"Okay."

"Let's get back before Sam thinks we're in trouble," Dean started to chuckle, "and don't mention this to him. He will make fun of you until the end of time."

###

The ride back to the motel had been an unplesant one, but Castiel didn't complain. Dean was impressed by the lack of reactions from the punished angel, knowing from experience how it was to sit down in a car after a spanking, but his face was like set in stone. Then again, it usually was.

"Where have you two been for so long? Did you get stuck somewhere?" Sam wondered as soon as they opened the door, "And where are the groceries?"

Dean stopped mid-step. "_Son of a bitch_!"

He had forgotten the bags at the checkout after the meeting with the manager. He had been to busy getting Castiel out of the store as fast as possible.

"Uh. I gotta go back. You," he pointed at the smaller man, "will stay right here this time."

"Dean, may I make a request?" Cas asked, clearing his throat as Dean nodded, "Can you.. uhm, _buy _chocolate for me while you are there?"

The hunter stared incredulously at him, then the corners of his lips started to twitch furiously before he broke into heartfelt laugther, unable to stop himself. His little brother's eyebrows were raised as he looked up from the laptop.

"What's so funny?"

Dean gestured wildly, but he could not say anything, his laughter turning hysterical and uncontrolled, tears springing up to his eyes and he had to support himself against the wall to prevent from falling over. The other men watched in confusion, Cas looking close to sheepish while Dean gasped for air, almost folded in two.

The whole thing was just too damn hilarious in hind-sight, and the fact that the angel still wanted chocolate - it had Dean in a world of amusement. This was pure comedy for him.

He was still cracking up when he shut the door behind him. Sam was stunned, surprised by the outburst - he hadn't seen his brother laugh like that for years.

Castiel shrugged his shoulder when Sam turned a pair of wondering eyes to him, "Don't search for answers in me," he said, "I cannot say what entertained Dean so much."

And he honestly couldn't. He just wanted that sweet, blissful candy again. Hopefully, Dean would remember to get him some.


End file.
